Sunday, April 25, 2010

The List, part 1

Note: inclusion and exclusion criteria may not be intuitively obvious to even the most casual observer on roller skates.
  • Sirhan Sirhan.
  • My third grade teacher, Mrs. Benjamin.
  • The guy on the 4 train picking his nose and eating his findings.
  • People who use the phrase "real americans" without irony, satire, or quotes.
  • Political trolls, grammar trolls, spelling trolls, purity trolls, under-the-bridge trolls.
  • 3 of the 5 structural reviewers of the New York City Department of Design and Construction.
  • John Sidney McCain II.
  • Menudo.


Peter said...

Something I saw this afternoon that made me do a doubletake.

N__B said...

Not me.

Substance McGravitas said...

Bratz dolls?

Smut Clyde said...

You have to make a Downfall rant for each of these items or they don't count.

Also, Reviewer 1.

N__B said...

By the time I publish The List, part 37, you'll understand my criteria.

Substance McGravitas said...

Can openers that leave a sharp lip?

N__B said...


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

whew. Grammar/ spelling zombies just missed the list.

N__B said...

Zombies in some form may yet appear in future parts.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...


Aw, c'mon, Mr Taco makes a mean version, served with a stack of warm tortillas. They only serve it on Sundays.

N__B said...

Unless it's made with boy-band meat, this changes nothing.

Another Kiwi said...

Things I have seen from a bosun's chair atop the Chrysler building.

Substance McGravitas said...

Men of Under a Thousand Faces?

Smut Clyde said...

'Would it be O'Benson?'
'Not O'Benson.'
'The Quigleys, the Mulrooneys or the Hounimen?'
'The Hardimen or the Merrimen?'
'Not them.'
'Peter Dundy?'
'Lord Brad?'
'Not him.'
'The O'Growneys, the O'Roartys or the Finnehys?'
'That is an amazing piece of denial and denunciation,' he said.
He passed the red cloth over his face again to reduce the moisture.
'An amazing parade of nullity,' he added.