Let's Blow This Popsicle Stand

Google deigns to restore this blog after deleting for it no reason - again - and that's my limit. New blog, old content at http://nedbeaumontjr.wordpress.com/ . To the many ones of people who've linked, please update to the new address.

WTC advertising

You can't blame people for not knowing the future. But as Copyranter points out, you can blame them for spreading their carcinogens around: The Joys of Asbestos.

Air Travel

Who whistles on a no-empty-seats flight? Someone with a death wish?

Logorrhea

I'm on the phone with a client and he hasn't said anything meaningful in...and I glance at the phone and the call has been going for 38 minutes and it was just to set up a fucking site visit and now he's repeating himself, repeating himself and why won't you DIE DIE DIE

"Dan, I gotta run. Call on the other line."

AND HE'S STILL TALKING DIE DIE DIE

"Dan, as soon as I have a report ready, I'll email you."

Can I refuse a pardon?

 Hello,

     We have received your appeal regarding your blog http://voicesandelectrons.blogspot.com/. Upon further review we have determined that your blog was mistakenly marked as a TOS violator by our automated system and, as such, we have reinstated your blog. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused in the meantime and thank you for your patience as we completed our review process.

     Thank you for for understanding.

     Sincerely,

     The Blogger Team

"Language"

On a private message board (for the condo I live in) I recently came across the phrase "F-bomb" as a euphemism for the word "fuck." I've heard it before, but it never fails to amaze me. A bomb is a device that, at best, uses physical destruction for a constructive purpose, and more often is simply destructive. "Fuck" is a word. Anyone incapable of understanding the difference in harm that can be caused by a word - particularly one that is not inherently derogatory of any person or group - and a bomb is too fucking stupid to take part in an adult conversation.

To paraphrase Redd Foxx, why do I use the words "fuck" and "shit?" Because people do. If you've never fucked, shiiit. If you've never shit, fuuuuck.

Sheer Fucking Stupidity

Part of an architect's email to me today:

I was at the Building Dept to get structural drawings for [address]. Unfortunately, I couldn't get them.

Several hundred building in NYC were designated Security Risks after 9/11.  [Address] is designated a potential security hazard, so I have to apply for clearance. The process includes getting a written letter from the owner giving permission to accces the drawings. The security clearance would take about a week.

[Address] is a condo, completed about two years ago. The only people who'd want to blow it up are the minority with good taste.

Newsflash

Switching your company's time-tracking and billing program, while emotionally satisfying and leading to a more aesthetically-pleasing computer session, does not actually increase the month's billings.

Cautionary Tales

I took my 4-hour standing scaffold class last night, as required by NYC for anyone who works on scaffolding. (There's a 32-hour class to build scaffold, plus OSHA classes.) Part of the class was watching video of various idiots doing things that, hopefully, everyone in the room already knew they shouldn't be doing.

One video helpfully included pictures of two men's groins after their their testicles had been severed by improperly-fastened safety harnesses.

Here's one worn properly, from an equipment catalog:

D'oh.

Place

I'm an outer-boroughs New Yorker, which is different from being a Manhattanite. (It's like distinguishing between male and female turtles. Outsiders can't tell the difference, but it's important to the turtles.) I grew up in Queens (although no one from Queens thinks of themselves as being from Queens - the old town and developer names are still religiously used, so, accurately, I am from Flushing and a close friend is from...wait for it...Ozone Park) and now live in Brooklyn. One of the ways you can tell if someone is from the outer boroughs is how they refer to Manhattan. It's "the city," as in, "I'm going to meet a friend in the city." This makes sense in a suburban-urban-relationship way, but keep in mind that Brooklyn and Queens each has a population well over two million and would be damned big cities on their own.

Looking just at the Americans who've posted comments here, we've got people from Yonkers, L.A., Milwaukee, and Boston. Among the long, long list of stupidities I was guilty of in my teens and early twenties was arguing with people about where was the best place to live. The short answer that I couldn't see then: where you're happy. Any other answer leads to Yakov Smirnov telling Cleveland jokes and any life path that ends in a shithole like Branson...oops.

Then Tell Me If You're Mute

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